When my daughter was 2 years old I decided to write her regular letters. 

My goal was to write her a letter every 6 months in which I described what she’s been doing, what she’s been saying and how much I love her.

I bought a beautifully lined book, and began.  When my son was 18 months I started his book too.

I haven’t managed to write as frequently as I would like - letters tend to be a year apart.  But when I take the time to sit down and reflect on my children and how amazing they are, it is wonderfully indulgent.

I plan to keep writing these letters reguarly until they are 18 or 21 and then handing them over as a collection of my reflections on their life.

I don’t see the books as an accurate history, but more as a collection of my musings about them.

It is my way of holding time still, and preventing small moments from being forgotten.

It is a memento I am creating for them, but it also makes me feel good.

By taking the time out of my busy life to write the letters, I realise how amazing my children really are, and how grateful I am that they are a part of my life.

How to write a memory book for your children:

1. Buy or find a notebook - either blank or lined.  Or you can write on whatever scrap of paper you can find and bundle the pages together.

2. Find a quiet moment (once the kids are in bed or before they get home from school) and write them a letter.  Talk about whatever you like.  The weather, what they’ve been up to, how you feel about them.  Try not to censor, just write.  And don’t worry about perfect grammar, just write.

3. Add photos or pictures if you like.

That’s it.  Easy!  All it takes is half an hour to an hour of your time.  But it’s value is worth so much more.  Enjoy!

On Saturday night I went to my 20 year high school reunion.  It was amazing.  A night of ‘oh my god I haven’t seen you for 20 years!’, hugs, kisses, and catch ups.

A night full of reminiscing, remembering and reuniting.

A time to reconnect with people with whom I spent some of the most intense, excrutiating and formative years of my life.

An opportunity to cram 20 years into a 2 minute conversation.  To bury old grudges. And discover commonalities that didn’t exist 20 years earlier.

I absolutely loved it - for many reasons.  But here are my top 3:

1. I went to school with some amazing people.  I didn’t necessarily know they were amazing whilst at school. But I do now.

2. At school I was insecure, self conscious and unconfident.  But then so were most of the rest of my class.  I didn’t realise that at the time either.

3. School is intense.  But it’s not the be all or end all.  It is only the beginning.

I had a great night at the reunion. But one of the night’s best moments was arriving home.  It was a balmy night and a soft breeze was floating through the open windows, my kids were having a ’sleep over’ in the spare room, tucked up together in the big bed, and my husband was snoozing in our bed with the two cats at his feet.

All was right in the world.

And I felt incredibly content with my lot.

Combining work and family takes military grade logistics, Mother Theresa patience, and marathon runner stamina - and that’s just for getting out the front door!

Now, I like those time management tips for busy parents that say - prepare everything the night before, lay out your clothes, make the lunches, pack the bags etc, etc.

But at the end of a long day, the last thing I want to do is think of tomorrow’s lunches and scrounge around for the library books and bag.

Sometimes, I manage it - but other times I don’t.

And even when I do, kids have a way a making something that should take a minute, take an hour.

So even the best advance preparation doesn’t always help.

Here are my tips for getting out of the house on time with your sanity - as well as the children - in tact:

1. Be realistic
You may be able to grab your bag and get out of the house within a few seconds, but your toddler will need to find his ruggie, stop to pat the cat, complain that you opened the door instead of him, and jump in the puddles instead of get in the car.

2. Promote responsibility
Your school age child may still want the star treatment, ‘Fetch my school bag, lunch box and communication book, mum. And no blue smarties!’ But teaching her a simple morning routine - get dressed, brush hair, brush teeth, and pack bag - helps you and her.

3. Stay calm
When your daughter is still playing with her ponies rather than putting on her shoes, and your son has upended a bottle of milk on the kitchen floor, it takes Mother Theresa patience not to scream and yell. Instead, breathe and think ‘I’m an absolute saint for calmly cleaning up the milk and calmly requesting my daughter to put on her shoes.’

4. Appreciate the good
In every situation, no matter how busy, stressful or frustrating, there are always pockets of good. So instead of getting irritated at your toddler for pulling off his jumper for the third time, admire, just for a moment, his tenacity.

5. Think energy not time
We all have too much to do and too little time. And there will never be enough time. But if you focus on getting out the door without feeling like you’ve been hit by a train, then that is probably more important than whether you are running 5 minutes late.

I’d love to hear your tips.

And for more info about getting out of the house on time, check out Wondertime magazine.  The Australian launch issue is available in all good newsagents now.  It truly is a wonderful read.

Jodie Benveniste, Director of Parent Wellbeing.

Yesterday I had my first day off in years.  I sent my kids off to my mum’s house, and I didn’t go straight to the office.  Instead, I had a day to myself.  It was luxurious.  And I didn’t feel at all guilty.  Well - only slightly!

Mum came and picked up the kids at 9am.  I then spent the next hour and a quarter sitting on the couch in the springtime sun writing in my children’s memory books.  I’ll write more about these memory books next week.  So stay tuned.

I then went to yoga.  I used to be a regular twice a week yoga goer before having kids. But for the last five years yoga hasn’t featured in my daily life.  And my body and mind have suffered.  So now I’ve bought a 10 week pass, negotiated with my husband to be home in time for classes on Wednesday night, and I’ve committed to going.

After yoga, I went to the pub for lunch.  All by myself.  I had a delicious ceasar salad and a virgin mary, and I wrote in my diary about everything that’s been going on in my life.  It was indulgent and highly therapeutic.

After lunch, I had a massage.  It was painful but again highly therapeutic.  My body had harboured so much stress it was overworked. The massage was only the beginning of what needs to be an ongoing commitment to my health and wellbeing.

After the massage it was time to pick the kids up from my mum and dads. 

The day was short. The day was sweet.  And like the massage, it is only the beginning.

I’m thinking that a mid week ‘me’ day should happen once a quarter.  If not, at least twice a year.

It is not the total answer.  Because the minute I picked up the kids, Jet started grizzling, and Wirra started whinging and I had to take a deep breath and deal with it - rather than react.

But it did help.  It said to me that ‘I’ matter.  I matter enough to spend time on me.

I didn’t think I had the time for a mid week ‘me’ day.  I thought I had too much to do.

But I realised that the consequences of not caring for myself were much more catastrophic than putting off today what could be done tomorrow.

Is it time for you to have a midweek ‘me’ day?

Jodie Benveniste, director Parent Wellbeing

With spring comes boisterous children and boisterous children sometimes need entertaining!
In a previous blog I covered all things energetic and outdoors but what about activities that can keep the children occupied in the backyard or on the verandah?There are so many free and simple ideas to get little imaginations going.

Remember building cubby houses? No, I don’t mean wooden ones (although that’s a great project if you are feeling handy!). I mean cubby houses made out of sheets, pegs, ropes, chairs, clotheslines and trees!

Little ones may need help tying the sheets up but let them go wild.

I have memories of the whole of mum’s linen closet on the back lawn…so many sheets and blankets meant a cubby house of many rooms! We spent days out there, eating our lunch picnic style under our self made canopy, playing games, being pirates… Cubby houses ignite imaginations!

Artistic endeavors are always fun…and they don’t need to be messy.

Show your children how to ‘rub’ leaves. All you need is a piece of white paper, a crayon and a few leaves with good veins. Pop the leaves on a flat surface, place the paper over them holding the whole lot firmly and rub the crayon over the top to reveal the outlines of the leaves underneath. Use different coloured crayons to create layers of intricate patterns.

For an easy art activity for smaller children try using a paint brush with water on the pavement or a brick wall. Sure it may disappear but it can be repainted over and over again!

Flower pressing is always interesting although it does take some patience.
You don’t need a special flower press, just a heavy phone book and some tissue paper.
It works best if you chose flowers that are not too ‘chunky’.
Place a piece of tissue paper on a flat surface, lay your flowers down as you’d like them to be pressed, top with another piece of tissue paper and squash with a phone book.
They need about a week to make sure they are squashed and then they need to dry for a little bit longer. Once they are dry, they need to be handled very carefully but can be used to make beautiful cards.

Any scraps of wood and nails lying around? It may be worth investing in a hammer and saw that smaller hands can control. Woodwork is a hugely popular past time for children 4 and up. You can now even buy small hot glue guns that used with proper adult supervision can keep your kids occupied for days.
A great woodworking idea can be creating a project together. This doesn’t mean what is made at the end needs to be functional, but looking at the wood together, thinking up an idea, drawing up a plan and then building it can be a wonderful bonding experience and hugely educational for children.

There are so many wonderful things you can do with your children around the home! Use your imaginations and it’s highly unlikely you’ll be hearing ‘I’m bored!’

Emma Anderson
Childcare professional and mum to Jasper