How well do you celebrate your successes?

I wasn’t going to have a launch for Full Belly.  It takes a certain amount of organisation and effort, people are busy, and in some ways it seems a little indulgent.

But I was persauded to have a launch after completing a wellbeing survey online.  The survey which is part of a worldwide study of wellbeing made me realise that when it comes to looking after my own wellbeing there is one thing I’m really bad at.

I’m really good at setting goals - like writing a book about pregnancy and birth.  But I’m terrible at taking the time to reflect and celebrate once the goal has been achieved.

Once I’ve achieved a goal, I tend to do three things:

1. Tick it off the list

2. Think, ‘If I achieved it, it couldn’t have been that difficult’

3. Set another goal

But by doing so, I’m depriving myself of the good positive emotions that come with having identified something I really want to do, working hard to achieve it, and then giving myself a pat on the back.

We often talk about the importance of the ‘journey’ as though it is more important than the ‘outcome’.

But both are important.

And taking the time to reflect, celebrate and enjoy successes is a very important component of wellbeing.

So from now on when I achieve a goal, I’m going to do the following:

1. Tick it off the list

2. Think, ‘If I achieved it, then I’ve done really well!’

3. Find some way to celebrate, however small

4. Set another goal

So we launched Full Belly yesterday.  Thank you to everyone who came along and helped celebrate Full Belly!

You’ve helped me on my path to better wellbeing. And I hope Full Belly helps you and others too!

By Jodie Benveniste, director of Parent Wellbeing
We inspire parents to become better people and better parents

Read a free extract of Full Belly: Comfort and inspiration for pregnancy and birth
Buy Full Belly: Comfort and inspiration for pregnancy and birth

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This first appeared on Tom Munnecke’s blog Eclectica. And is relevant in these challenging economic times.  Thanks Tom for allowing us to publish it here.

Here are some ideas for building resiliency within a community as outlined by Heather Ion with some contributions from David Brin and Harold Koenig.

Create a neighborhood bulletin board where folks can list reminders, and needs and offers (one retiree offers homemade cookies for lunches in exchange for dog walking; uni students might swap auto-detailing for home cooked meals).

Host a potluck meal for local fun, but also gather information for a neighborhood directory. Find someone willing to maintain a database. Possibly include names with footnotes to indicate “trained babysitter”, “we know a good handyman”.

Build momentum toward a neighborhood round robin potluck once a month. Perhaps themed toward a positive question such as “What adventure have you had recently?” or “Tell us about a meal that meant a lot to you.”

Map the resources of skills and offers (science tutoring by a neighborhood retiree, revolving cooking classes, transportation pooling) and keep it circulating in the neighborhood using flyers, emails and bulletin boards. Amateur Photographers in one neighborhood might supply family sittings & portraits; in return they gain both recognition and remarkably creative portfolios and scrapbooks.

Hold a community talent show, including an art gallery, and share bragging rights and laughter.

Organize Barter Bazaars (no money allowed) where you can exchange your offerings for those of others (Especially useful before the Holidays.)

Put up a bookcase in a shared community space (Laundromat, Church hall, Doctor’s office) for a Bring One/Take One of books, magazines and videos.

Closet Shopping Sprees require that everyone bring five or more clean garments, and then take away the equivalent, or simply enjoy passing them on.

Polishing Parties are gatherings of a few neighbors or friends to clean a house or garage and then celebrate together. One family had the exterior of their house painted by such a group, another completely redid their garden.

Share “No Money Fun” lists of activities (Dog walking, community picnics and cleanups, popcorn nights of watching home videos). For instance “Story time” has become a weekly neighborhood celebration: adults and kids read and tell stories, sometimes with a puppet show or music, anyone can take part.

See that several people in the neighborhood take Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) training so that a local team is ready in case of crisis. Ask them to teach others how to stockpile, do safety checks and prepare.

“What I know” gatherings are enjoyable ways to learn new skills and acquire new knowledge from your neighbors. One retired safety specialist does a very popular “What I know” evening on safety procedures; a gardener does an equally popular presentation on pruning and pesticides; a nurse explains medications; a computer specialist answers questions, a medical billing professional explains insurance.

Community gardens get folks active together, improve diets, help support food banks, and generate a sense of self-reliance.

If every family begins to list what truly nourishes their family and nurtures their sense of identity, of belonging, of hope and of contribution, we can then share our lists and weave together a web of support based on these things.

Courtesty of Tom Munnecke’s Eclectica blog.

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Whenever I’m on the computer, my kids bug me for colouring in pages. 

My daughter normally wants My Little Pony or Dora or Angelina Ballerina.

And my son likes Bob the Builder, Thomas the Tank Engine or The Wiggles.

Now I’ve found a site that has a heap of free colouring in pages including alphabets, animals and other non-licencsed pics!

It’s heavy on the google ads but you can ignore those and instead print cute pages like this little ‘A’ for ant.

Free colouring in pages

By Jodie Benveniste, Director of Parent Wellbeing.

Recently, I went to hear Michael Grose of Parenting Ideas talk about raising confident kids.

And interestingly, the message I took away, was not so much about what we needed to do as parents but what we needed to NOT do.

One important way to help your kids increase their confidence is to help them build their capabilities.  That is, to help them learn how to do things for themselves.

So Michael’s challenges to us was ‘What can you stop doing for your child.’

And when I thought about it there were many, many things that I do for my kids that they could be doing for themselves.  Here’s just a few:

Make their beds
Pack their drink bottle and lunch box into their bags
Put away their clean clothes
Find their library books

I think there are several reasons why we do stuff for our kids.

Oh how they grow

1. We began making their beds and putting away their clean clothes when they were babies - when clearly they couldn’t do it for themselves.  But somewhere along the line our kids grew up but we didn’t hand over the responsibility.

Easy peasy

2. Sometimes it is just plain easier to pick up their toys, pack their lunches and straigthen their beds.  It takes less time and energy then yelling at your kids and/or painstakingly reinforcing good behaviour with star charts or chocolate biscuit bribes.  But of course, this is a short term strategy, which ultimately leads to more work for us.

Great expectations

3. We have lower expectations of our children’s capabilities than are necessary.  Who would have known that a 3 year old can empty the dishwasher?  But they can.  With the right encouragement and support.  And even though you may loose a few glasses in the process, it is worth reinforcing their contribution to family life.

Pick up after yourself!

4. We get into the habit of picking up after our partner and it just follows that we pick up after children. This is particularly a problem if your standards and your partner’s standards differ.  And since kids can live in a pigsty, it follows that the person with the lowest tolerance for mess will clean up first.

Obviously, there are many things young kids can’t yet do:

Cook dinner
Change the oil in the car
Earn a living

But it’s only a matter of time, and interest.  And your encouragment.  Confident kids can do stuff. So what can you stop doing for your kids today?

Michael’s workshops are sold out in Melbourne and Sydney, but you can still get tickets for Perth.  Click here for more info.

By Jodie Benveniste, Director of Parent Wellbeing.

Courtesy of The Food Coach

Gluten free, Low fat, Low sugar, Wheat Free

This is a lovely easy to digest immune boost for anyone feeling a little under the weather. Whizz it all together in the blender for breakfast and it should perk you up a bit throughout the day.

1 apple juiced
½ cup strawberries
½ cup low fat natural yoghurt
½ lemon juiced
1 tsp honey
1 cm piece of ginger, grated

Prep Time: 5 mins
Cooking Time: nil
Ready in: 5 mins
Suitable for:
Beverage, Breakfast, Snack

Method:
Add all the ingredients to a blender and mix until smooth.

Enjoy!

Courtesy of The Food Coach

Courtesy of Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

One source of unhappiness for people is feeling out of control of their spending - and this is a problem that’s far more widespread now than it was a year ago. Feeling regret about having bought something is a very unpleasant sort of unhappiness.

Being an under-buyer, as opposed to an over-buyer, I don’t generally have much trouble avoiding overspending. I have more trouble prodding myself to make the effort to buy things I actually need.

Nevertheless, even with my under-buying ways, I sometimes come home with something I didn’t really need to buy. Stores use extremely clever strategies to winkle customers into making purchases. Here are some strategies to make sure you don’t make purchases you regret:

1. Be wary of the check-out areas.

There are lots of enticing little items here; ask yourself if you really need something before you add it to your pile. How many times have I picked up a jar of Balmex?

2. Get in and get out.

The more time you spend in a store, the more you’re likely to buy. Even better: don’t even go in the store. Then you definitely won’t buy.

3. Question the need for an upgrade.

You might want that device with a slick new function, or to get the improved version of what you have now, but do you really need it?

4. Be polite to salespeople, but don’t feel like they’re your new best friends.

Don’t buy something because you’re worried about hurting their feelings or having made them do a lot of work helping you or explaining products to you. (At the same time, be respectful of clerks’ efforts. The other day, I was in Gap Kids, and I saw someone rifle through a pile of beautifully stacked shirts in a way that meant that they’d all have to be re-folded. Was he malicious or oblivious? I couldn’t tell.)

5. Don’t shop when you’re in a hurry or when you’re hungry.

6. Stick to a list.

I’ve found that after I’ve decided to buy one thing, I’m far more likely to throw in other impulse items, because I know that I’m committed to going through the hassle of paying.

7 . Beware of sale items

They make you feel like you can’t afford not to buy, or limited-time offers, which make you feel like you have to take advantage of a special deal. If you don’t need or want something, it’s not a good deal, not matter how cheap it is. A friend of mine told her husband, “I got this 50% off!” and he answered, “That means it was 50% ON.” Along the same lines…

8. Don’t buy anything that you don’t know you need.

This is especially important with clothes. If you’re not careful, you can buy a pair of pants marked down 75%, then realize that you can’t really wear them unless you buy the right shoes to go with them.

9. Choose cash or credit card.

Some people find it far harder to spend actual physical cash; other people find that paying cash makes a purchase seem trivial, even when the dollar amount is high. Know whether you’re more inclined to overspend with cash or credit cards - and leave that payment method at home.

Courtesy of Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Aries

This months planetary influences favour you being noticed and satisfying your need for recognition. Right now is a good time for you to achieve those things that are important to you, particularly in your career sector. With harmonious contact between Mars and Venus this combination favours relationships. If you are currently involved with someone it is highly likely that you will be able to give and receive easily from each other and enjoy the results! If you are not currently involved in a relationship there could be a surprise just around the corner.

Take some time to step out of your busy day to day life and create space for some private reflection: something many Arians are not good at! I would encourage you to create a private and quiet space where you can think and recharge your batteries. This is not a month to make major change and I would recommend that you stick with routine and those things that are most familiar to you. You may have contacts with hospitals or institutions of some sort and do be careful that you don’t do anything unlawful because you may just get caught!

For those of you involved in artistic pursuits, you may find that your creativity becomes stronger and the urge to express yourself artistically, produces some really wonderful pieces of work. Alternatively, you may spend time wanting to make your surroundings more pleasant so you may find yourself doing some redecorating.

Be mindful that there may be some unexpected turn of events that take you off in a completely different direction, yet knowing your pioneering spirit you’ll probably enjoy the deviation.

Taurus

Venus, your ruler is tucked away in your 12th house, which suggests it is time for you to act unselfishly. You may find that you are called upon to look after somebody close. If this occurs, it might mean that you need to wait for just a little while before getting what you want. With Venus commencing its backwards motion from March 6 to April 16, you might become more reserved than usual. In the area of relationships, if there are some unresolved issues you may find that these surface now.

Take time out to think about your life and your goals. In addition, you may find some opposition coming from home in terms of your ideas about your life. So right now, it might be difficult to maintain the balance between what you would like to achieve and the expectations from family.

On the home front, it would be best to stick to routine matters and not make any significant changes right now. At the very least, show good grace until April 16.

One thing is certain you will experience very strong emotions during the period and may find yourself experiencing some emotional conflict which may involve connections with powerful people and intense experiences.

Gemini

Generally, the tenth house tends to rule one’s reputation with people in authority and your career. This month is the time where you may come before the public or be recognised for something you have accomplished. From a spiritual standpoint, the tenth house gives consideration to your life perspective or view of the world.

During the month, you may find yourself thinking more deeply about the meaning of life: your life and asking yourself how happy are you with how it’s going? If you are, then continue with more of the same, however, if you’re not, start thinking about those areas you would like to change and what are you going to put in place to make that happen.

On a more mundane level, you will enjoy the intellectual stimulus of a good debate. You will not be afraid to express your opinions passionately. Keeping it fun and light-hearted will most certainly ensure you build good relationships in the process. Just temper that need for intellectual superiority, as this will most certainly put people off.

Many of you may be including travel, as part of your 2009 plans. If this is the case get focused and get cracking, because this would be a great activity for you this year!

Cancer

Somehow during this month, you may feel as if your private life has been exposed to the public. Some things may surface that you would rather stay quiet and private. Do not worry about how this is perceived because in fact, it makes you appear more sensitive and vulnerable, while having empathy for other people. You will probably have more empathy, sensitivity and responsiveness when working with groups. And in fact, this particular transit can be very good for public relations work.

The above description will set the scene for you feeling very generous to those around you. You will not necessarily focus on the minutia even though you’ll be aware of it. What you will need to be careful of during these transits is being self-righteous, smug and delivering your opinion as a judgment expecting all others to agree and follow. Keep yourself in balance and you will be able to forge positive relationships that are mutually beneficial.

The new moon will provide an opportunity for some to commence or resume study. If this is your desire, and you have the opportunity, I would really encourage you to take it up because only good things will come out of it!

Leo

This month will see you creatively exploring the potential of new relationships in your personal and professional life. This particular energy pattern has a rather expansive quality to it and as such, any new contacts you have are likely to be beneficial.

With your love of doing it in style, I can only suggest that this month, will hold a particularly busy social calendar. Please take the opportunity to engage in entertaining, creative and childlike pursuits. It’s the stuff that keeps your juices flowing! Keep it fun and light-hearted because this is not a time to push your views or opinions on to others as you will be met with opposition.

You may decide that you become a little more interested in the secrets of the universe and explore them more deeply. You will seek out sexual satisfaction or at the very least seek closeness and intimacy with another person. Of course, under the right circumstances, this could be very enriching and quite delicious. If you have the right person enjoy the opportunity to become closer. Play that artful game of seduction! One thing is for sure, it is likely your feelings will be more intense this month.

On a mundane level, you may become involved in tax or jointly held money and property issues. Just a little word of warning that if you have debts that have not been paid now could be a time when the debt collector knocks at your door!

Virgo

The New Moon in your relationship sector concerns itself with marital, business partners or teammates, this month will focus on the relationship that you have with these individuals. Typically, the New Moon brings with it new opportunities and new directions.

If you’re in a marriage or a permanent relationship, you may find that this is the time where you seek to do something differently or take the relationship to a new level. In business, partners may need to review certain aspects of the business and in particular, the nature of their relationship and how well they do business together. This particular placement of the mind brings into focus our willingness to get along with other people and make concessions. When trying to understand their perspective: difficult relationships can often find common ground and positive relationship is continued to expand.

The recent eclipse suggests significant focus on your emotional well being, health and work over the next six to 12 months. You’ll need to look at the balance between your physical and spiritual world. Ensuring you are in good physical shape, and in a satisfying work environment means you have more energy available to explore spirit.

This can be exciting if you’re open to new possibilities. Stay alert for possibility, be prepared to make change, while realising it may not always be comfortable, yet there’s a jolly good chance it will support your growth and development.

Libra

Venus, your ruler, is in your seventh house of partnerships, which is one of the best places it could be however it will be short-lived as Venus your ruler goes backwards from March6 to April16! You may find yourself attracted to particularly powerful or strong charismatic types. This in itself is not a bad thing, you just need to be careful and ask yourself, ‘is this really what I want’. Have fun with it, enjoy it, and don’t make it permanent just yet.

Be aware that during this month your social activities or entertainment plans may undergo last-minute changes. Just go with the flow and don’t get too cranky!

Some of you may plan a holiday or take up the creative hobby, either way it’s important that you do something to relax and renew yourself. If you haven’t got a well-being program in place, now is the perfect time to do so. Conduct your own stock take: are you fit, do you eat the right type of food, do you get regular sleep or do you burn the candle at both ends? Have a look in the mirror and if you don’t like what you see start to make some positive changes.

You may also think about your current work situation. If there are any issues that have been brewing in the workplace it is likely they will surface during this month. If you are not happy you may resign or commence seeking other employment opportunities.

Scorpio

As one of the characteristic traits of the Scorpion is to reinvent or transform themselves, you certainly have the opportunity to do so during this month. In addition you will be able to develop a solution by doing some creative thinking. However, it will not take place without some tension. Let’s call it dynamic creative tension, in other words, there is opportunity for growth and you might feel a little uncomfortable, because it will take you in a new direction. At the moment, you are being asked to creatively restructure your thinking processes, in other words can you do things differently and produce a better result than normal?

In addition, you will be going through a fundamental change in your attitudes towards your own self-worth and money. Interestingly enough both of these areas in your life are reflective of how you value yourself so it becomes important for you to feel good in these areas, as it affects your entire being.

The New Moon brings with it a choice which suggests that both logic and creativity can harmonise opposing views. Alternatively you may become quite self-righteous, and as a consequence not resolve anything. This is not the best time for making decisions regarding your career and close personal relationships.

Sagittarius

Generally, you will find this to be a very busy month, with lots of activity short trips and visiting others. You may take on too many projects and tend to scatter your energies. You may receive news during the month and correspondence that relates to a personal matter requiring an important decision needs to be made. If you have brothers and sisters it is highly likely that you may be in contact with them more this month than normal.

Although this can be a busy month communicating it is often a time when you make a decision about taking up some form of study.

On another level, your emotions are likely to be quite powerful, and you may feel more sentimental than usual. You may have a strong desire to be free, while at the same time wanting to have a deep and meaningful relationship. Now, just remember that can be hard for the person on the receiving end to know exactly what it is you’re on about!

Matters around politics and social justice will be of interest and may develop strong feelings on our water crisis or the environment and may want to become more involved in ‘doing’ rather than just talk about it. Good on you, lead the way.

Capricorn

You may experience one or two setbacks or feeling as if you have been made to slow down. I call this swimming though treacle however the upside is that you can produce some very focused work or outcomes. I prefer to think it was the latter. If you do feel as if you’re going a little slower than usual don’t worry, because it will pass and you will discover that this can be a very very constructive time.

You can expect some ‘unexpected’ communication during the month, and what is really interesting is just how busy you’re going to be on a day-to-day basis!

You should be able to muster excellent concentration, and I’d be suggesting you use this to set your goals and decide where you want to focus your energy. After all success is about making a plan, and then working the plan. Yet you know that already, don’t you?

Generally, you will find this to be a very busy month, with lots of activity short trips and visiting others. Unfortunately, you may take on too many projects and tend to scatter your energies which will all be in pursuit of the exchange of ideas. You may receive news during the month and correspondence that relates to your personal matters which may correspond to an important decision you need to make. If you have brothers and sisters it is highly likely that you may be in contact with them more this month than normal.

Aquarius

Although you always have an emphasis on being such a free spirit at the moment, I sense some deeper frustration. You may be a little conflicted between your desire to be free, and the need to conform to rules and regulations. Perhaps a creative way to deal with these opposites is to think of creative ways you can integrate rules and regulations into your own life. You’re probably feeling as if it is one step forward and three steps back at the moment. That will change. However, you need to ask yourself, what is it that I need to learn in order for me to grow and develop.

This month’s new moon in the second house of love or money brings with it an opportunity for you to reconsider how you feel about what you do. You will think more about your personal values this month, and how comfortable you are with them. This is a time where your personal income and financial dealings with lending institutions or wealthy people may come into focus. One good thing to do under this particular influence is to rethink your savings plan. If you don’t have one now might be a good time to start one! If you have a partner it may represent a time where you consider taking on a mortgage.

One thing I would ask is that you be more aware of your personal safety as you may be more accident prone.

Pisces

Although there may be some emotional ups and downs during this month there are some other aspects that suggest you can achieve a really good balance between your material expectations and your spiritual needs. This particular combination will enable you to take some of those thought processes and practically apply them in everyday life.

You may find that you’re more popular this month with people seeking you out and you feeling quite relaxed and enjoying the company of others A friend or partner may want you to do something quite different, which could prove to be quite positive yet initially, you might find yourself resisting this suggestion. And you might find that a third person could throw a spanner into the works and try and be quite disruptive. Try going with the flow and trusting the process.

One of your great qualities is to spend time looking after others, and putting your own needs on hold, so know that it’s okay to put your needs first for a change. I think it might be time to take yourself off for a massage, a walk along the beach or spend some time in meditation so you maintain your poise and calm. This is a really great time for you commence new projects.