I received this email from two Honours students at Monash University. They are looking for people interested in participating in their research on happiness.

If you’re keen, see below!

Our names are Natasha Odou and Kimberley Seear and we are conducting research as part of our Honours degree in Psychology at Monash University.

We are looking for participants for a study looking at methods for increasing well-being. Participation will involve completing anonymous questionnaires online and a short individual activity.

Participants go in the draw to win one of two double Gold Class movie passes.

If you are interested in participating, please go to:

http://spppm-cf.med.monash.edu.au/surveys2010/kimfry/

Searching for Child Health Information Survey

Do you have a child aged between 6 months and 10 years?

If so, Dr. Anne Walsh from the School of Nursing at the Queensland University of Technology is interested in what you have to say about searching for information on child health issues, such as a rash, cut or the flu.

If you are interested in being involved in a brief online survey about how parents search for and decide which child health information to use, please follow the link:

http://tinyurl.com/chi-10

Article courtesy of Dave Woolbank of dadsclub.com.au

It is one thing to set a goal and achieve it, but how do we confidently know whether that goal is the right one?

Most of us will make a New Year resolution, yet only 12% will ever realise it. Research shows that we make more resolutions to start a new habit, than to break one.

Typical resolutions include:

Increase exercise
Be more conscientious about work or school
Develop better eating habits
Stop smoking, drinking, or using drugs (including caffeine)

Philosopher, Caroline West, of the University of Western Sydney reveals that in our quest for greater fitness, we spend more time shopping for leisure goods than engaging in leisure itself and spend more time watching sport on TV, rather than playing it ourselves.

Empirical research on leisure pursuits that deliver a healthy dose of satisfaction suggest we should refrain from typical New Year resolutions and progress some or all of the following:

Socialising
Community work
Visiting new places
Meditation or worship
Cultural activities
Being engrossed in a stimulating book or hobby
Getting a good nights sleep
Physical exercise

Because of society’s increasing expectations for dads to be actively involved parents, most of us yearn for more of what we find increasingly harder to get, TIME. This becomes a distant reality when we have kids craving our undivided attention.

So why not set a few goals for 2010 that bring you and the kid’s sustained satisfaction:

Identify a project and build it: e.g. Veggie / herb garden, a billy-cart, fishpond.
Explore. Take advantage of our multi-cultural communities, jump on some public transport and discover new food and cultures. Make it a regular event.
Share a book, either read it to the young ones or form a monthly book club.
Community work. Together you can decide who, why, where and when.
Get into a new sport. Either as spectators (e.g. Winter Olympics) or as participants, consider martial arts, yoga, tennis, jogging and walking etc…
Do a short course: art, craft, pottery, gardening, sailing, wood work etc…
Be king of the kids: Do an inspiring activity each weekend

Once you have identified your aspired outcome, it is important to create a plan that ensures you see it through. Professor Richard Wiseman, Hertfordshire University, offers the following tips for success:

Men should set specific goals
Women should tell others about their resolution
We should all avoid leaving the decision to New Year’s Eve
Deciding to revisit a past resolution sets you up for frustration and disappointment
Choose something new, or approach an old problem in a new way
Those who make vague plans were more likely to fail - for example instead of planning to go running twice a week you should plan to go running at specific times every week
Men may be more likely to adopt a macho attitude and have unrealistic expectations, and so simple goal setting helps them achieve more

Like business goals, our personal goals, should be specific, realistic, achievable, timely and measurable.

Our plans too often focus us primarily on a life of work, usually with transparent and tangible milestones. Dads would do well to develop a plan that pursues lasting joy and satisfaction with their kids.

What will you achieve with your kids by December 2010?

Article courtesy of dadsclub.com.au

A very important study was published in the latest issue of the Journal of Family Issues.

Constance Gager and Scott Yabiku, concerned about the state of American marriages posed the question: Are working parents, given the time pressures of modern life, getting enough sex?

How often you have sex is supposedly a barometer of the quality of your marriage.

Researchers don’t know how much sex is enough but people who have more sex (than those who have less sex) report feeling happier about their marriages.

And for the record, in this study, couples had sex an average of 1.6 times per week(!)

Now Gager and Yabiku weren’t just interested in sexual frequency.

They also wanted to know how sexual frequency linked to the highly vexed question of housework because who puts the bin out (otherwise known as division of housework) and how often you get it on (otherwise known as sexual frequency) are the most common sources of disagreements in marriage.

This is what we know about housework

1. Men are doing more housework than ever before. But that was off a very low base. Cooking a BBQ doesn’t count.

2. Women are doing less housework than they used to. But that’s because the majority are out doing paid work.

3. Women still do twice as much housework as men. Yes twice as much. And as a consequence have less leisure time. Don’t we know it.

Now for the results

(As an aside, the study only looked at how much sex you have - not how long it lasted or how good it was. Obviously, not so important).

Here are three results we could have predicted:

1. The older you get the less sex you have.

2. The longer your relationship the less sex you have.

3. The younger your children the less sex you have.

But now for the fascinating findings:

1. The more housework you do the more sex!

2. The more time in the paid workforce the more sex!

So what can we conclude from this revolutionary study?

For men

Grab that apron and do 1, hell, why not all, of the following household tasks covered in the study: (a) prepare a meal, (b) wash the dishes, (c) clean the house, (d) shop, (e) wash and iron, (f) pay the bills, (g) drive other household members to work, school, or other activities, (h) perform outdoor tasks, and (i) do auto maintenance. Then you just might get lucky tonight!

For women

Get out into the paid workforce now! It might just save your marriage or at least make life a bit more fun.

Courtesy of Dave Woolbank of www.dadsclub.com.au

You’ll be king of the kids this summer school holidays when you stick to these creative, inspiring, low cost and often FREE activities that all add up to hassle free and BIG FUN.

Use any of these and Dad will again be seen as the expert their kids expect them to be.

1. Liven up your local park with mini-games / triathlons / kids Olympics

This is perfect with a group of kids and other parents. You can allocate teams or go solo; often it is good to mix this up.

Remember this is about having a go, introduce PBs (personal best / timed results) in favour of out right winners. Choose any of these and add some more: run, bike, swim, jump (long and high), throw a ball and / or climb a tree.

Create obstacle courses that include some of the above. Add in swings, slippery dips, chairs and some good distances.

Take some drinks and a bag of fruit.

Introduce a trophy - this is something you can make with the kids before or after and can be as simple as a cup, ornament etc..glued to a piece of wood.

A good follow-up is to take some photos and send them to the team afterwards.

Get the kids input on what they reckon they can do to make it more challenging and interesting.

Throw in a rope and finish it off with a tug-of-war. Perfect when it’s adults versus kids. Hopefully we’ll get some rain this summer and you’ll have a puddle or two to compete over!

2. Treasure Hunt

This will take at least 15 minutes to plan and will require you visiting the local park before hand.

You’ll need pen and paper to make a list of questions that the kids will need to scout around for to find the answers.  Find unusual, interesting and even educational hiding spots.

Remember your aim is to keep them busy (not you), so have them cover large distances and keep it challenging.

By adding in more diverse questions you can make this activity as long as you want. You could punctuate it with them finding their lunch.

Divide the kids into teams and handout a questionnaire to each team (you could do this individually). Your small questionnaire could look something like this:

How many rungs are on the ladder to the slippery dip?
How long is the monkey bar?
How many chain links are in the southern most swing?
What type of oval is the one near…?
Bring back a leaf. What is the name of the tree it came from?
Climb the tree nearest the _______ what did you find in it (have a small bucket of lollies as a mid-way treat)?
Find a sign and get the kids to write down names, phone nembers etc.. signs can be on posts, bridges seats, trucks, equipment etc…
When you look due north (south, east, west) what can you see?
What’s the full name of this park, oval?
Who opened this park?
Name three native flora within the park?
Name the species of birds…?
What local Aboriginal land are we now on?
Be resourceful and creative. Make a raft / house / aeroplane out of natural objects (twigs, leaves etc..) you could add cans, paper etc..?
Draw an aerial map of this oval and name a,b,c and d?

3. In the kitchen

Find a recipe and treat Mum and the family to a three course meal.

Go for an international cuisine e.g. Chinese, Thai, Italian etc..and theme it with fortune cookies and lantern; tropical looking flowers; red and white table cloth etc…

Stimulate this activity further by adding trivia questions during the meal.

For example:

The local currency in ___________ is _________?
Their national cuisine is?
The President / PM is?
The population is?
Who founded this country?
Any historical facts: e.g. the Chinese invented paper?
Major tourist destinations?
Name the national airline carrier?
Essential ingredients in this national dish are…?

4. Head to the markets

Turn a weekly shopping chore into an adventure and take the kids to the food markets instead of the supermarkets. Spice it up with some haggling, be adventurous and buy something completely different.

5. Paper Plane competition

Visit our animated paper plane guide and choose from ten different paper planes to make.  Then put your skills to the test and have a fly -off.  Whose plane goes the highest, whose gets the most distance?

6. Round up the local Canines and have a derby

Organise a local dog derby in the park.  Map out a dog track and have a race.  Check out your local dog track, you may be surprised what they’ll let you do.  Failing any successes here, take your pooch for a walk.

7. Start a holiday sports competition

Round up your mates and their parents, pad up and start a local test match in your ‘hood (see rules)

8. Plan a project and build it

Research a DIY project and plan, build and celebrate it these holidays.

Build a billy cart, fish pond, tree house, raft, herb garden, shed, doll house, worm farm or swing set. For more DIY ideas and tips.

9. Discover a new suburb

Take advantage of our multi-cultural communities, jump on some public transport and discover new food and cultures.

10. Get back to basics with board games

Lets face it we’re going to get a few scorchers and hopefully some rain these holidays, so keep these handy.
Play a favourite or learn a new game. These are bound to take you back and are another great way of teaching your kids new things.  Try Chess, Backgammon, Cards, Chinese Checkers, Monopoly, Twister, Kludo, or Mouse Trap.

11. Digital Photography

Grab a camera and explore your neighbourhood. Get creative with close up shots and props. Let the kids’ imagination go wild, pick out the best shots and blow them up. Then you can frame or mount on a canvas. Makes a great gift!

12. Discover a new bike ride

Explore your community by bike. Saddle up straight from home or drive / commute to a new destination and discover.

13. Paint a masterpiece

Buy some low cost canvases from Go-Lo and let the kids be creative. All going well you’ll have a masterpiece to hang. Makes a great gift.

14. Try a new sport

Watch or try out something new.  Find a kids sports club or sport stores here.

15. Plant a herb garden

We’re all going green and summer is a great time to get creative in the garden. You can use pots or dig up your garden. Potted herbs make a great gift.

16. Dinner in the park

Get the kids to design a menu and treat Mum to a picnic dinner in the park.  You may be inspired by what you’ve learn from some of the other activities in this list

Discover a new suburb.
Discover a new bike ride.
Head to the markets.

17. Camp in the backyard

Turn a sleep over into something more fun. Set up tent, blow up the mattress (or drag your kids’ mattress outside) and spoil the kids with marshmallows (toasted if you can).  Tips on camping

18. Home made lemonade

Make an easy cooling, refreshing drink with lemon or limes. Home made lemonade is perfect for those long hot summer days and evenings.  Once you’ve mastered the flavour, set up a stall.

Ingredients

Juice of 4 lemons
1Litre (4 cups) water
125g (1/2 cup) caster sugar

In a 2 litre jug, combine the lemon juice, water and sugar. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Chill in fridge.

19. Go bowling

Bare foot bowls is great for those warm evenings. Contact your local bowling club.  Air conditioned ten pin bowling makes a great escape on those hot days.

20. Find a destination and get out

Many of these can be free, or certainly low cost. So what are you waiting for, pack a picnic and go visit:

Some friends or family
School holiday activities: search by event type and state
Cultural event
Museum / Art Gallery / Photographic Exhibition
Free city events
Building sites make great viewing entertainment for infants
Factory or organisational tours are often FREE e.g. Parliament House, Stock Exchange & National Parks
Display gardens

Enjoy!

Courtesy of Dave Woolbank of www.dadsclub.com.au

Courtesty of Gretchen Rubin from The Happiness Project.

One of my Secrets of Adulthood is “What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you — and vice versa.” This sounds simple, but it actually was a huge breakthrough for me. So many things that other people consider “fun” are not fun for me, and it took me an astonishingly long time to realize that. Drinking alcohol, shopping, most games…I just don’t enjoy those activities.

Even now, I have to remind myself that people go skiing because they honestly want to go skiing, not because they are made from a sterner moral fiber than I.

I’ve realized, too, that it’s important to think about this in the context of my family. If I want to have fun with my family, I need to make sure that we’re doing activities that — at least some of the time — are honestly fun for me. Otherwise, I just get bored and try to end things - or even sneak away. Was it Jerry Seinfeld who said, “There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family?” Well, I’m trying.

For example, my four-year-old is constantly begging us to read to her. I was getting so bored with Frog and Toad and the like that I was making excuses.

Then it occurred to me - why not read something I like, too? I don’t have much appreciation for Little Bear anymore, not after the tenth reading, but I love children’s literature. Surely there’s something we can both enjoy.

She’s not ready for The Golden Compass, of course, and she’s not even ready for Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, but first we read the All-of-a-Kind Family books, and now we’re working our way through Mary Poppins. I love those books, and it has made a huge difference in my willingness to read to my daughter. It’s fun for me to read those books, too!

Obviously, as a parent, I can’t follow this rule all the time. My children enjoy things that aren’t much fun for me, so I get my fun vicariously, by watching their fun. But I’ve decided to try to steer our activities more to things that we all find fun, because then I’m so much more enthusiastic.

(Of course, it’s possible to run, then, into the opposite problem: something is so fun for me that being with my children ruins the fun. If I really want to see an exhibit, say, I can’t go with my two children. I just won’t be able to concentrate. But I could go myself, and then return with them.)

One of the great mysteries of happiness is - why is it so hard to “Be Gretchen”? Why is it so hard to know my own likes and dislikes? It seems that nothing should be more obvious than the question of what I find fun, yet I have to think hard about this, all the time.

This principle doesn’t only apply to children; fun with your sweetheart, fun with your family, fun with your friends, fun with your co-workers. Have you found any good ways to have fun with others that’s also fun for you?

Courtesty of Gretchen Rubin from The Happiness Project.

Courtesy of Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

The main strategy for my happiness project is to make and keep resolutions. I’ve made dozens, maybe hundreds of resolutions, and I have Resolutions Chart where I score myself on the most important resolutions. I constantly remind myself, “It’s important to keep that resolution! It will make me happier!” and usually it does.

But I have at least one resolution that I just can’t seem to keep, and I’ve decided to resolve to do just the opposite, to “Give up that resolution.”

I’m giving up my long-standing, often-repeated resolution to “Entertain more.” Fact is, I’ve never really committed to that resolution: I never broke the goal down into steps that I could follow and pushed myself to keep them. Well, why not? Why was I able to keep resolutions like Stop gossiping and Read more and Don’t expect praise or appreciation, but not this one?

I want to entertain more, but clearly, I also do NOT want to entertain more. Finally I realized - I need to give up this resolution for a while.

If I’m honest with myself, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. The Happiness Project book is finally about to hit the shelves, and that means a lot of work - not just writing work, which I’m used to, but other kinds of work. My children need a lot of attention. My husband has been traveling a fair amount. When I have some spare time, I want to just hang around the apartment and read; I don’t want another to-do list, even for something fun. Some people like party errands (flowers, food, fixing up the house, figuring out whom to invite), but I don’t.

So I’ve decided to abandon that resolution for a while.

Starting an exercise routine. Learning Italian. Cleaning the basement. We all have longstanding resolutions hanging over our heads - resolutions that we want to keep, but we don’t really make much progress towards, and which can therefore give us a feeling of powerlessness or failure. As important as it is to try to keep resolutions, sometimes you need to give up a resolution.

Sometimes, too, I think a resolution can block you. You don’t have any nice clothes because you want to lose weight. You don’t read any novels because you’ve promised yourself to read War and Peace. Letting go of one resolution might make it easier to keep other resolutions.

The thing is, I know if I’d keep the resolution to “Entertain more,” it would make me happier. But I’m going to admit to myself how happy it will make me not to keep that resolution.

How about you? Have you ever boosted your happiness when you gave up a resolution?

Courtesy of Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Courtesty of Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

*The best reading is re-reading.

*Outer order contributes to inner calm.

*The opposite of a great truth is also true.

*You manage what you measure.

*By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.

*People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.

*It’s nice to have plenty of money.

*Most decisions don’t require extensive research.

*Try not to let yourself get too hungry.

*Even if you think they’re fake, it’s nice to celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

*If you can’t find something, clean up.

*The days are long, but the years are short.

*Someplace, keep an empty shelf.

*Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.

*It’s okay to ask for help.

*You can choose what you do; you can’t choose what you LIKE to do.

*Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy.

*What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.

*You don’t have to be good at everything.

*Soap and water removes most stains.

*It’s important to be nice to EVERYONE.

*You know as much as most people.

*Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.

*Eat better, eat less, exercise more.

*What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you–and vice versa.

*People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.

*Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.

*If you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough.

*No deposit, no return.

Courtesty of Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

Webdesigner Depot have posted about The Most Controversial Magazine Covers of all Time.

These are US publications so maybe it isn’t surprising that a baby magazine that published a breastfeeding baby on it’s front cover was included in the list.

Apparently some found the August 2006 of Baby Talk despicable.  And this was in 2006 not 1956!  Get over it already!

This is what the blog had to say:

While this image seems benign to most people who have been involved with a baby in one fashion or another, the cover was decried as obscene.

Even though moms made up the target demographic, a survey of 4000 of them turned up the fact that 25% had a negative response.

One mother actually shredded the magazine so that her 13-year old son couldn’t see it. Not that he likely noticed; he was probably on the computer downloading porn watching tips from Kanye.

And here is the beautiful cover:

It’s a baby eating is all.

Courtesty of Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the problem of drift in happiness. Drift is the decision you make by not deciding, or by making a decision that unleashes consequences for which you don’t take responsibility. (”Drift” isn’t an actual psychological term, like situation evocation or emotional contagion; it’s just a word that I use).

I fear drift. Drift feels small, but once unleashed, drift is a powerful, often almost unstoppable, force.

An engaged friend couldn’t have made it more plain that she didn’t want to get married. I asked her, “Imagine that something happened, and you couldn’t get married next month. Your fiancé absolutely had to move to China for a year, alone, or you had to have a big operation. How would you feel?” “Relieved,” she said. And yet she went through with the wedding, and got divorced a year later.

I drifted into law school. I didn’t know what else I wanted to do, it seemed like a legitimate, useful way to spend a few years, it would keep my options open…I didn’t really think much about the decision. As it turns out, I’m very glad I went to law school - drift sometimes does lead to a happy result, which contributes to its dangerous appeal - but I didn’t approach law school mindfully. And many, many people who go to law school are not happy they went.

Just taking one drifting step can you set you in a course that’s very hard to stop. In my case, I drifted into taking the LSAT (the law-school application test). “Why not, might as well, could come in handy, maybe I’ll be glad I did,” etc. This is a good example of the fact that drifting doesn’t always mean taking the easier course; it was a lot of trouble to prepare and take the LSAT, but it was still drift.

Some situations look like drift but aren’t. You may be following a pathless path — and that’s fine, if that’s what you intend to do. Or you may have to choose between multiple courses, with their pros and cons, and you can’t decide which you want, and while you’re deciding, life continues rolling along. This isn’t drift, because you’re actively weighing your options. Sometimes, it’s helpful to postpone making a decision, either because you get more information or because your own preferences reveal themselves. However, if this goes on too long - and it’s hard to know what’s too long - it can become drift.

The tricky thing about drift is that people rarely want to admit to themselves that they’re drifting. So what’s a good way to catch yourself in drift? I tried to make a list of warning signs for myself:

Drift warning signs

Thinking “This situation can’t go on,” but then it does go on.

Complaining a lot about a situation without working to find ways to make it better.

Hoping that some catastrophe or upheaval will arise to blow up a situation, e.g., fantasizing that you’ll break your leg or be transferred to another city.

Feeling that other people or processes are moving events forward, and you’re being passively carried along.

Getting the urge to do or have something because the people around you are doing it or want it. One of my Secrets of Adulthood is “Just because something is fun for someone else doesn’t mean it’s fun for you - and vice versa.”

Have you ever caught yourself in drift? What are some other warning signs?

Courtesty of Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project