Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire and author of The Luck Factor, has researched over 400 ‘lucky’ and ‘unlucky’ people and discovered that luck is no accident.

Instead, he found that we create our own good or bad fortune.

The major difference between lucky and unlucky people is that the less fortunate are more tense and uptight, and so fail to notice the unexpected and chance opportunities.

Lucky people, by contrast, create their own good luck four ways:

Principle 1: Make your luck

Lucky people create, notice and act upon the chance opportunities in their lives.

They build stronger and wider networks with others, have a relaxed attitude to life and enjoy new experiences.

Principle 2: Go with your gut

Lucky people make successful decisions by using their intuition and gut feelings.

They listen to their hunches and boost their intuition.

Principle 3: Expect the good

Lucky people’s expectations about the future help them fulfill their dreams and ambitions.

They expect good fortune, attempt their goals, and set high expectations.

Principle 4: Fix your luck

Lucky people are able to transform their bad luck into good fortune.

They see the positive, take the long view and focus on being constructive.

So luck it seems is a choice. It is a way of seeing, interacting with and interpreting your world. Luck is a state of mind.

But luck also occurs through action.  If you never set a goal and try to achieve it, you will never ‘get lucky’.

And luck is also about being optimistically open to the unexpected, the interesting, and the unusual.

We can all, therefore, create our own good luck no matter which way the cards fall.

For more information, including a free ebooklet, The Complete Guide to Luck, visit www.theluckfactor.com

This article is courtesy of Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project.

Since I started my happiness project, I’ve become more and more convinced of the importance of sleep to happiness.

That’s why I proposed “Get more sleep” as the very first resolution of the 2010 Happiness Challenge.

Many researchers argue that not getting enough sleep has broad health consequences, such as raising your risk for cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and even obesity, but in addition to those, it has a profound effect on happiness and energy level.

We get accustomed to being sleep-deprived, and although at first, we notice the effect on mood and alertness, before long, we adjust to that state as normal.

So even if you insist that you feel fine, if you got more sleep, you might feel a lot better.

I usually sleep well once my head hits the pillow, but until I started my happiness project, I would often stay up late to read, answer emails, watch TV, talk to my sister on the west coast, or cruise the internet. I had to wait until my children were asleep before I could start my real leisure time.

I was fine at night, but I suffered the next morning. I feel crabby when I’m jarred out of sleep by the alarm, and I dislike racing around on weekday mornings, with no time to spare.

I realized that to have more energy and more calm, I needed to go to sleep earlier (and also to wake up earlier). I looked for ways to prod myself to turn off the light and to get better sleep:

1. Set a specific bedtime for yourself.

Many people have no idea what time they “should” go to sleep in order to feel well-rested. Be realistic! If you have to wake up at 7:00 am, staying awake until 1:30 am each night is unlikely to be sufficient.

2. Get ready for bed well before your bedtime.

Sometimes, paradoxically, I feel too tired to go to bed. I try to wash my face, take out my contact lenses, and brush my teeth well before I plan to turn off the light.

3. Make your room very dark.

Shut the blinds, block out the lights from your computer, clock, phone, etc. Even the tiny light from a digital alarm clock can disrupt a sleep cycle.

4. Stretch.

A study showed that women who were having trouble sleeping fared much better when they stretched four times a week.

5. Keep your bedroom a little chilly.

6. If your mind is racing with worry, make a list of everything you need to do the next day.

This really works for me. I can make myself crazy fretting that I’m going to forget to do something important; if I make a list, I can relax.

7. Tidy up your bedroom.

It’s not restful to be surrounded by clutter.

8. Exercise.

Studies suggest that people who exercise fall asleep faster and stay sleep longer - and this is particularly true for people who have trouble sleeping.

9. An hour before bedtime, avoid work that requires alert thinking.

I try to stop myself from checking my emails before I go to bed, because it wakes me up. I made this mistake just last night, in fact. I got some emails answered, but I was so wound up that it took me forever to go to sleep.

10. My personal sleep-inducing innovation: Slather myself with body lotion.

This feels good and also, if I’m having trouble sleeping because I’m hot, it cools me down.

11. My other sleep-inducing innovation: Put on socks if my feet are cold.

I feel frumpy, but my husband won’t let me use his legs as a foot-warmer.

12. Yawn.

13. Tell yourself, “I have to get up now.”

Imagine that you just hit the snooze alarm and in a minute, you’re going to be marching through the morning routine. Often this is an exhausting enough prospect to make me fall asleep.

14. Give up, and re-frame your sleeplessness as a welcome opportunity to snatch some extra time out of your day.

If I wake up and can’t get to sleep after 4:00 a.m, I get up and start working. Instead of starting the day feeling annoyed, I have a wonderful feeling of having accomplished a lot before my usual wake-up time of 6:00 am.

What other strategies have worked for you — to get yourself to turn off the light, or once in bed, to get more restful sleep?

This article is courtesy of Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project.

Can money make you happy?

The obvious answer might seem yes. But money is a complex topic.

Over many decades, the field of psychology has been studying the links between money and wellbeing.

And one of the major findings is:

You need a certain amount of money for subsistence, which is important for wellbeing. But over and above subsistence, a lot more money does not correspond to a lot more happiness.

Now, we’re learning more about how spending your money can impact on your wellbeing.

If you had a spare $100, would you be better off spending it on dinner with friends or a new dress?

New research from Carter and Gilovich from Cornell University suggests the dinner with friends might win out.

That’s because buying ‘experiences’ rather than ‘things’ tends to make people happier.

Here’s why:

Decisions about material possessions seem to be more difficult to make than decisions about experiences.

When buying a new flat screen TV, we compare models, sizes and prices. When there’s so much choice, even if we’re happy with the deal, we may have lingering doubts about whether we got the best deal - which can take away some of the enjoyment of our brand new TV.

Whereas when we choosing experiences, we tend to decide on the kind of place we’d like to go and then choose the first option that fits.

When deciding where to go for dinner, we might want to eat Thai food in the city. Instead of researching every single Thai restaurant in the city, and comparing menus and pricing, we choose the first or second Thai restaurant we think of, and are generally satisfied with that.

It’s the act of comparison that can undermine wellbeing.

In general, it is easier to compare our purchase of a brand new TV - and feel like we didn’t make the best choice - than it is to compare our choice of restaurant or the experience we had at that restaurant with our friends.

And because material possessions tend to deteriorate in value over time - the new massive flat screen TV is not so massive the longer you have it - compared to the brand new even more massive TVs on the market now.

Whereas, our experiences of a lovely dinner with friends can become even more positive in our minds over time.

So how should you spend that spare $100? It can depend on how you view your purchases.

Do you agonise over whether you could have got a better dress for a better price? [The tyranny of choice]

Do you compare your dress to your friend’s dress and feel unsatisfied? [Unfavourable comparisions]

Or is the dress your ticket to go out and have fun with your friends? [An enjoyable experience]

And what about how we spend money on our kids?

Buying experiences together might be better for everyone than buying them the latest, greatest brand new must-have toy - which very soon will be superseded by some other latest, greatest brand new must-have toy.

And if your kids must have a must-have toy, then turn it into an experience and play it with them.

The beginning of a new year is a natural time to reflect on the year that has passed and to plan for the new year ahead.

As parents, our plans, hopes and aspirations don’t just affect us - they also affect our children.

So now is a good time to think about how good a life you and your family lived in 2009, and to consider what you would you like to change about 2010.

Margarita Tarragona from the Universidad Iberoamericana in Mexico City recently posted on Psychology Today’s Spanish language blog about a new year ritual she performs with friends and family. And here is the English language translation.

You may choose to perform this new year ritual alone or with others. And you may also like to involve your children.  Your children may like to perform their own new year ritual.

New year ritual for parents

Write your answers to the following questions, and then put them away in an envelope.  At the end of 2010, open your envelope and reflect on your responses.  What goals did you achieve?  Which ones are no longer relevant?  What surprises did the new year bring?

1. What was one of the moments you enjoyed the most in 2009 ?

2. What are you most grateful for in 2009?

3. What was one of your most important accomplishments this year?

4. What is something new you learned in 2009?

5. What are you glad to leave behind with the year that ends?

6. What is one of your most important projects for 2010?

7. What would you like to do for others in 2010?

2009.  It’s been a big year.  Challenging.  A bit frustrating.  And a year where I lost (my dad) and gained (some perspective).

As we approach year’s end, I thought I’d reflect on what I’ve learnt this year.

Here’s just a few of my lessons’ learnt.

In 2009, I learnt that:

Expectations sometimes need to be lowered

Lowered expectations can lead to a greater appreciation of what is

Time is my friend.  I don’t need to rush through life.  I can slow down and live a richer life.

Most people who ’succeed’ work bloody hard and don’t give up

I need both running and yoga in my life.

Holidays are good.

I have achieved more than I thought I had.

I am resilient.

What did you learn in 2009?

Okay, there’s long been talk that women, in particular, can’t ‘have it all’. 

The argument goes that we were duped by feminism when we were told we could be amazing mothers, career zealots and domestic goddesses, whilst still getting enough beauty sleep.

The modern day mantra now goes that we can’t ‘have it all’.  There are only so many hours in the day, and fuel in the tank so something has to give.

I don’t entirely disagree with ‘there are only so many hours in the day’ argument. But I want to challenge semantics.

I do believe you can ‘have it all’.  I just don’t think you can ‘do it all.’

People say to me, How do you find time to run a business, raise two kids, and write books?

It is simple.  There are many other things I don’t do including:

I don’t keep a pristinely clean and tidy house
One of the major domestic duties that goes astray in our house is putting away clean clothes.  The clothes go from the dirty clothes basket into the washing machine, onto the line, and then into the spare room where they get dumped into piles.  Looking for something to wear?  It’s probably in the spare room.

But my domestic life is relatively ordered.  There are decent meals, set bed times, and lots of love.

I don’t have as many hours as I would sometimes like to work on my business
My husband and I are both business owners with a fair degree of flexibility.  And we negotiate pick ups and drop offs depending on who is interstate, who has meetings and who has important functions.  I often fit my work around my kids - and work nights and weekends to make up time.  But sometimes I wish I could work more.

Instead, I’ve had to learn to work a bit smarter.  I’ve learnt to be more efficient, better focused, and to celebrate my achievements.

I don’t get time to read for pleasure
One of my greatest indulgences has been to curl up and get completely engrossed in a good book. Unfortunately, with lots to do and interrupting kids, I rarely get the opportunity to indulge.

But on holidays, I always head off to the bookshop and the library, get a stack of books and work my way through as many as possible.

As a working mum, I don’t believe I can do it all.

But I do believe I can have it all - because, to me, having it all means living a good life.

This is what I have:

I have a wonderful family
My kids amaze me every day.  Watching them grow into little people is an incredible privilege. And I also have a wonderful husband.  He is a true partner.

I have a wonderful job
I absolutely love my work.  Writing books, developing and delivering workshops, and helping people enjoy work and life is my passion.

I have a wonderful life
My life is rich and fulfilling, and although it is difficult and demanding at times, I still feel incredibly blessed.

I can’t do everything I would like to do.  But I can have a good life.  And to me, that is much more important.

Michael Gartner, a Pulitzer Prize winning writer, wrote this beautiful column for USA Today about the secret to a long and rich life.

It’s about simple rituals, deep love, and yes left hand turns. Although if you live in Australia or the UK, substitute for right hand turns.

Here’s the beginning:

My father never drove a car.

Well, that’s not quite right.

I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

“In those days,” he told me when he was in his 90s, “to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.”

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:

“Oh, bull–!” she said. “He hit a horse.”

“Well,” my father said, “there was that, too.”

And you can read the rest here: A life without left turns by Michael Gartner.

The Huffington Post recently published an article by Marcus Buckingham about what the happiest and most successful women do differently.

Buckingham surveyed thousands of women, and had one on one chats with those who polled highest.

They asked the following questions:

1. How often do you get to do things you really like to do?
2. How often do you find yourself actively looking forward to the day ahead?
3. How often do you get so involved in what you’re doing you lose track of time?
4. How often do you feel invigorated at the end of a long, busy day?
5. How often do you feel an emotional high in your life?

And the results, are consistent with Parent Wellbeing’s approach to Work Family Wellbeing.

There is no one size fits all

Successful women come in all shapes and sizes.  Some of them work full-time, some part-time, some are full time at home with the kids.  Some are in high-powered jobs, some are in low-paid jobs, and some run their own businesses.  Successful women find the set up that suits them and their families.

Moments are important

We’re often told to focus on plans, goals and dreams.  But what can suffer when focusing on such big picture thinking are the little moments that make up a good life.  We experience many wonderful little, positive moments in our days and weeks, either at work or with your children, family and friends.  But often we don’t acknowledge them.  Happy people acknowledge the good moments.

Acceptance

Our expectations can undo us.  One major reason for unhappiness is when our expectations don’t meet reality.  Why can’t my children get dressed in 1 minute without me having to nag, yell or assist them?  Accepting rather than resisting can help us cope better with what is.

There is no such thing as balance

If you know our work in Work Family Wellbeing, you’ll know that we don’t believe in balance.  And Buckingham’s work concurs that it’s not about balance.  It’s about what works for you.  Wellbeing is a better goal than balance.

You can read the full article at the Huffington Post.

By Jodie Benveniste, director Parent Wellbeing

Why do we now live in a culture where people feel unable to take a day, a week, or god forbid, a few weeks off work?

What is so hard about not turning up for work, and instead tuning into some R&R?

We Australians are supposedly so bad at taking holidays that we’ve accumulated a staggering123 million days of annual leave which is equal to $33 billion in wages.

Tourism Australia are so concerned they launched the ‘No Leave, No Life’ campaign with the tag line ‘Win the Work/Life Battle’.

The campaign includes a dedicated website www.noleavenolife.com with holiday ideas for employees, and a toolkit for employers.

The message for employees is that taking leave can deliver incredible benefits such as “feeling refreshed, the chance to reconnect with family and friends, and being better placed to cope with the pressures of day-to-day life.”

And the message for employers is find ways to “cover for people on leave and manage the increased workload before and after leave.”

Now, the Harvard Business Review has reported an experiment by Perlow & Porter conducted with Boston Consulting Group in the US which forced consultants to take time off. The goal was to break the ‘we have to work 24/7 mentality’.

The results?

Higher job satisfaction

Greater likelihood that they could imagine a long-term career at the firm

Higher satisfaction with work/life balance

More open communication

Increased learning and development

A better product delivered to the client

I hope you’re all booking your Xmas holidays.

I am very proud to introduce our new workshop for parents. Our natural tendency as parents is to put our children’s needs before our own. But neglecting our own wellbeing can adversely affect the relationship you have with your child, and their wellbeing as well.

That’s why Parent Wellbeing and Optimistic Kids have come together to create the ‘Positive Parents, Resilient Kids’ Program - a 6 week program that teaches parents scientifically proven ways to build wellbeing and resilience.

We’ll cover:
How your wellbeing impacts on your children’s wellbeing
How optimistic thinking helps you and your children overcome adversity
How to build a stronger relationship with your children based on love, respect and support

By the end of the program, you will have:
Learnt vital life skills to help your children cope with life’s challenges
Learnt proven ways to increase your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your children

Established a blueprint for being the parent you want to be

This special 6 week program is taking place in Adelaide from 4.15-5.15pm beginning Thursday 22nd of October. And is ideally suited for parents of children between 9 - 13 years.

Positive Parents, Resilient Kids Program

4.15-5.15pm
Thursday 22nd of October 2009
and weekly thereafter

CP Moore Board Room
3/156 Fullarton Road Rose Park SA

If you are interested in this program but other times (a full day instead of 6 x 1 hour sessions) or places (interstate or indeed online) would suit, then please let us know by emailing me personally at jodie@parentwellbeing.com. We’d like this workshop to be the first of many.

Download the flyer. Or call 08 8264 2311 or email fiona@optimistickids.com.au to book.