It’s included newborn turmoil, toddler antics, preschooler pleasantries – and, now, two children at school.

Along the way, I’ve learnt a lot about child development, human relationships and family cohesion. I’ve also learnt a lot about myself.

I’ve learnt to be more patient, more self-aware and more compassionate. I’ve also learnt to be less judgemental, less controlling and less self-centred.

I’ve sometimes been forced to learn these lessons against my will. I’ve been dragged kicking and screaming from ‘I DON’T need to change’ to ‘Oh yes, I did really need to change, and life is so much better now. Thank you.’

It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been phenomenally worthwhile.

What’s helped has been a commitment to learning and growing, and a willingness to be imperfect and make mistakes. What hasn’t helped is not believing in myself.

I’ve had to learn to back myself, and look after myself. And the best way I found to achieve this is to work from a strong foundation: This is who I am, and this is how I want to raise my family.

I’ve always maintained that there is no one right way to raise kids. And I’ve tried to support parents in discovering their own parenting wisdom in my business Parent Wellbeing, and in my previous books Full Belly and Little Bundle.

But this book, The Parent Manifesto: How to create a parenting approach that’s perfect for your family brings together all of my professional thinking and personal experience since becoming a parent.

It’s a road map and a guide book. But it won’t tell you what to do. Instead, it will help you to back yourself, look after yourself, and learn your life lessons.

I am very excited to soon be launching the Parent Manifesto book, and the Parent Manifesto online program.

Both have been road tested by a group of over 80 parents who joined a private Facebook group, read the book as it was being written, gave feedback, and contributed their stories.

This is what they said about the book and the online program:

“For once a book that empowers, encourages, and leaves its readers feeling positive about their parenting!” Kristie Visser, mother of four

“It has helped me prioritise, relax a little, and remember what’s important.” Loretta Bennett, mother of four

“It has changed the way I handle day to day issues and helped me focus on the positives.” Jane Gribble, mother of three

“I feel very much more content as a parent and a person.” Shirley McCoy, mother of two

Very soon we will be sending you more information about the book and online program.

And we’ll also include a very special offer.

If you’d like to be one of the first to find out more please join our mailing list here.

Until then,

Keep well!

Cheers, Jodie.

‘Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.’

In earlier generations, people took care of their babies without special support services or a hoard of experts offering advice. They simply got on with the job.

Nowadays, we seem to worry and agonise more, as though we are suffering from a crisis of confidence.

Is it because becoming a parent is now a choice rather than an expectation? Or because families are more fragmented, leaving us isolated and with limited support? Or because most of us have never held a baby before we hold our own?

Whatever the reason, many of us find parenting shocking and overwhelming. Rather than finding our confidence ourselves, we panic and run to the first expert. We sometimes feel incapable and inadequate.

But what if we trusted our instincts more? What if we tuned into our children’s rhythm instead of resisting it? And what if we tried using our hearts instead of our heads all the time? Maybe then we would gain the confidence we need to get on with the job.

Try this

I am getting on with the job of loving and caring for my children calmly and confidently because no one knows more about my children than me.

My mum’s reply was: ‘Because every day is kid’s day.’

If my children asked the same question today, I’d probably provide them with the same answer. Every day is kid’s day.

But my kids might be pleased to learn that there is actually a Universal Children’s Day.

It was proclaimed by UNICEF in 1954, and it forms the focus of Children’s Week here in Australia.

Children’s Week is an annual event to celebrate the rights of children to enjoy childhood, and is a time for children to demonstrate their talents, skills and abilities.

Activities and events are held Australia-wide to focus attention on children, their needs and achievements.

Children’s Week this year is from the 22nd to the 30th of October, and Universal Children’s Day is on Wednesday 26th of October.

Every state has their own event listings for the week, and you can join in an official event.

But you could also create your own Children’s Week ritual. An art show in the loungeroom? A teddy bear’s picnic at the park? A sport’s carnival in the backyard?

As a kid I probably would have wanted ‘Do-whatever-I-like-day’ or ‘Eat-lots-of-icecream-day’ or ‘Wear-my-pyjamas-all-day-day’.

But now as a parent, I like the idea of ‘Really-appreciate-my-children-day’ or ‘Forget-about-the-housework-and-just-have-fun-day’ or ‘Be-a-kid-again-with-my-kids-day.’

Enjoy Children’s Week with your children!

This week, we have Melanie from A Welcoming Hearth.

Melanie is a mum to four young children ranging from 8 years to 18 months. She loves to shop, care for her kids, crochet and blog at A Welcoming Hearth.

You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Questions for Melanie

1. What do you find most challenging about being a parent?

Wanting to fix everything for them and make it all better, but knowing that they are growing up and there are some things that they have to work out on their own. Especially with friends at school and dealing with disappointments.

2. What do you value most about family life?

To know that I am providing a safe haven for my kids at home. Whatever the world may throw at them they know that home is always the same and mum and dad love them unconditionally. I truly believe that society is at its strongest when the family unit is strong. That home life and family are the springboard and strength that they need to take them where ever they want to go in life and to be whatever they want to be.

3. What makes you proud to be a parent?

When my children show that they are unselfish and think of others and consider others feelings and want to help those that are less fortunate than themselves.

4. What do you wish for your children?

That they can honestly say that they are truly happy. Whatever that may mean for them. Whether it is a high flying, high paying career or a stay at home mum. It doesn’t matter as long as they are content and happy.

Questions for Melanie’s 8 year old daughter

1. What do you love doing with your family?

Going to the park and playing the Wii.

2. What do you love about your mum?

There’s lots of things. Mummy helps me with my homework and cooks food for us.

3. What do you love about yourself?

That I like Teddy Bears and cats.

3. If a genie could give you one wish, what would you wish for?

To have a kitten of my own.

Perhaps it’s the advancing years, but I began to examine whether they way I always ate was really in my health’s best interests.

And not surprisingly, I discovered it wasn’t.

I needed more energy, less bloating, and less body weight.

The big change to my diet was eating more protein, less carbs, and watching my portion sizes.

And the changes have been incredibly worthwhile.

But lately, I’ve been feeling like I need to make some more diet adjustments. I just wasn’t sure what they were.

Then I bought and read Sarah Wilson’s ebook ‘I quit sugar‘.

Sarah argues that sugar is really the big evil in modern-day diets.

Sugar, or more specifically fructose, makes us eat more, converts directly to fat, and creates energy slumps and podge around the middle.

She suggests that cutting sugar from your diet helps your body reset and find a happy weight.

I found her arguments convincing so I’ve decided to give quitting sugar a go.

Sarah suggests that you treat it like an adventure. Have a go, be curious, and see how you feel.

To make thing easier, she outlines an 8 week program, recipe ideas, and encouragement.

And don’t worry, after you’ve gone without sugar for a few weeks, you can slowly add some back into your diet!

I’m into week 1 of I quit sugar, and will let you know how I go!

You can buy her ebook here. It’s only $15. Good value indeed.

In the book, they addressed an interesting question – not so much the ‘how’ of happiness but the ‘when’ of happiness.

They argue that happiness has a timeline. That we create happiness over time.

The AIM model of happiness outlines this idea.

The happiness timeline includes three phases, Attention, Interpretation, and Memory.

Attention

There’s a lot going on in life, and what we pay attention to can play a big part in how we experience life. We can choose to pay attention to everything that’s wrong or all the good stuff. It isn’t about denying the difficulties, but it is about not overlooking the wonderful little things that enrich our life.

Interpretation

We all harbour thinking habits. These thinking habits can sometimes be helpful, but other times they can encourage us to jump to unhelpful conclusions or create knee-jerk emotional reactions. Being aware of when your thinking habits aren’t helpful, and coming up with other interpretations is a useful happiness skill.

Memory

Happiness is not just about what is happening in the present. You can also experience happiness by drawing on happy memories or reflecting on positive past experiences. By reliving those moments, you can enjoy them again and again.

I like this model because it shows how focusing our attention, and being mindful of how we interpret life, helps us in the moment but can also help create a more positive future.

What do you think?

Be a fun mum – Second hand decorating for the home

Ruth runs a B & B on a river in Tasmania, and is featured in the gorgeously happy September issue of Country Style Magazine. She’s a chef, mum of three, and second hand shopping expert! I’m chatting to Ruth today about the secrets to second hand decorating in the home…

Sarah Wilson – How to exercise at home

Last week I shared how I exercise and mentioned that it’s boosted my energy levels and corrected my posture. Here’s a bit of a program that we can all do at home, using stuff around the house as props…

Life in a pink fibro – Famous last words: ‘I’ll write my novel when…’

I was watching Grand Designs the other night when, unusually, I found myself shouting at the television. I have been known to shout at the television in the past, but not generally when genteel Kevin is doing his thing. The reason for my vociferous response?…

Halogen – 10 yoga poses to fight anxiety and depression

The mind, body and spirit are all connected and when a person suffers from mild depression or anxiety, the body is out of balance. Yoga is a series of stretches that helps bring balance to the body; not just focusing on the body’s health, but also on the mind and spirit…

Vegan Yum Yum – Mini donuts

Remember when I made mini-donuts and promised you a recipe? And then never gave you one? Well, today I decided to keep my word. I got up, made some tea, and set to work. My house is covered in donuts!

‘5 mistakes I continue to make in my marriage‘

In the article, she talked about the importance of her marriage to her health and happiness.

But she also admitted that there were a few changes she wanted to make.

They were:

1. Stop demanding gold stars

Stop craving appreciation and recognition, and stop getting angry if the gold stars aren’t forthcoming.

2. Stop using a snappish tone

Stop from snapping and getting too irritable too quickly

3. Show more consideration

Be more engaged, warm, and considerate

4. Stop keeping score

Stop calculating who has done more or less than the other

5. Stop taking her husband for granted

Appreciate her husband more, including his contribution to family life

I think we all form habits within our relationships.

Some of those habits are lovely like making your partner a cup of tea every morning.

And some of those habits are not so lovely like sneering when they do even a minor chore.

I’m working on listening better, showing my loving more, and comparing less.

What habits within your relationship would you like to change?

Even though gossip gets a lot of bad press, many of us can’t stop gossiping. Why is that? And are there circumstances in which gossip is actually a social good and not a social evil?

Can gossip help us connect better with others? Can it help us be better parents?

Here is a very interesting article from Dr Lynn D. Johnson from Enjoy Life. He argues that if you gossip in a positive way, it can be hugely beneficial.

Positive gossip

Homer Simpson once said, “If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?” If everyone knows gossiping is bad, why do people do it?

The answer is simple. We humans spent most of our history in small tribes, and it is vital in a small group to know whom you can trust.

We have an inner gossip-interest part of our brain and we like to hear about other people.

Unfortunately, bad is about three times more powerful and interesting than good. It is just how Mother Nature has made our brains. So naturally most of our gossip is about people’s shortcomings and failures.

I propose we outsmart Mother Nature and gossip positively.

Positive gossip will lift your own spirits, it will make other people like you more, and it will eventually get back to the person you gossiped about and inspire her or him. Everyone benefits from positive gossip.

So how do you gossip positively? Try these three steps.

Step 1: Say nice things behind other people’s backs

Give yourself a challenge to engage in positive gossip. Try it out. Make a point of saying nice things behind the backs of your friends, family and colleagues.

How does it make you feel? When we do something nice, it is one of the most elevating experiences we can have. Saying positive things about others feels good.

Step 2: Shift conversations from negative to positive

Second, now experiment with shifting conversations from negative to positive. A collleague says, “Did you hear how Bob blew the Jones account? They hated his presentation and now we might not get bonuses because of him.”

What can you do there?

You could say, “What a shock. Generally, Bob is quite good at these things. I have seen him do some very good work with clients, so I am confused. I know he did well with the Smith account. There must be more to this story.”

Now you have shifted the tenor of the conversation. You might be able to say, “Let’s stop by Bob’s office and see if there is something we can do to help. After all, we can all benefit from turning this thing around.”

Be a leader, and determine to shift conversations.

Step 3: Wait for good to come back to you

Third, wait for it to come back to you. When you have been an instigator of positive gossip, you will become the subject of the same kind of positive gossip.

You will be seen in a more positive light, and you will see people becoming more friendly and warm towards you.

After all, if you gossip about others positively, they will feel more trust in you. Ancient wisdom from all cultures teaches this.

In the Asian cultures, there is the principle of Karma, and in the west we call that the Law of the Harvest. As you sow, so shall you reap.

Positive gossip creates an environment where people begin to look for the best in each other.

Start today to gossip positively.

Have you ever tried positive gossip? What was your experience?

This week, we have Anne from Domesblissity.

Anne is a stay-at-home mum to two young children. At her blog, Domesblissity, you’ll find heaps of fast, easy, frugal recipes which are full of flavour, stories from her life as an older SAHM of 2 young children and other blogging activities she likes to participate in.

You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Questions for Anne

1. What do you find most challenging about being a parent?

The thing I have found most challenging about being a parent is I feel like I’ve lost my freedom. I’m not my own person anymore. I’m not just responsible for the decisions ‘I’ make on a daily basis but also those for 2 extra human beings.

I don’t have any say in how they think, when they might be feeling thirsty, when they might want to say something, when they’re sick or tired and the things they want. I’m responsible for providing their essentials in life. I might like to just have a hot cup of coffee and 5 minutes peace and quiet but there are so many other variables at play now. I really have to schedule this into at a time when I’m not going to be interrupted.

2. What do you value most about family life?

I value how much the children look up to my husband and I and how they are so willing to please us all of the time. They really do want to belong and be a valuable member of the family unit. They are still learning though and forget how to do this. It is with our guidance and instruction that they can do this.

3. What makes you proud to be a parent?

Seeing how they go about their daily life. Every little thing. I still have a little giggle and a warm feeling in my heart when I remember the look on my kid’s faces at the recent school athletic’s carnival, when they were running. They were so determined to go really fast and their little lips were pressed ever so tightly together. I love watching them. Watching their different facial expressions of sadness, excitement, disappointment, happiness and when they both have a really good belly laugh. That brings me so much joy.

4. What do you wish for your children?

I wish for so many things for my kids. I really want them to be happy all the time. Not have moments of sadness like I did. But in saying that, I had to have the sad moments to enjoy the happy ones more. I just hope there’s more happy than sad moments for them.

Questions for Anne’s 6 year old daughter

1. What do you love doing with your family?

Playing. Helping them. Nothing else.

2. What do you love about your mum?

Loving her. Taking me to school and feeding me. Hugging her.

3. What do you love about yourself?

Playing by myself. The way I look. I like having no friends.

4. If a genie could give you one wish, what would you wish for?

100 toys